break on through to the other side (pure debauchery for wearenotbroken)

[deaths_head]

(takes place about two months after Cole Marteniz is born.)

If someone had told The Shade one year ago that he'd be in love with a living woman, have a foothold in the land of the living, and raising a son of his own, he'd never have believed it. Hell, he might have laughed in someone's face, or worse.

Then again, if someone had told Josiah Cole, when he was a mere boy of twenty seven, that one day he'd be a lord of the dead, owner of a living soul, and glorying in the dark pleasures of dominating the sweet body of the one who belonged to him, of being overtaken in much the same way...well, he'd have blushed beet red and been unable to speak for a month of Sundays in pure embarrassment.

Still, for every time he took his beloved to bed and made slow, gentle love to her, he was twice over turning her over his knee and spanking her until she came, or pleasuring her until she lost all touch with reality and every stroke of his fingers was a hairsbreadth from truly painful, or in rare moments when he felt secure enough, allowing her to bind his hands and do whatever she wanted to him...even if that meant, on occasion, abandoning him in favor of pleasuring herself until just the sight of her, lost in her own satisfaction, was nearly enough to trigger his own release.

The more they flirted with the darker side of their love life, the more The Shade suffered from the darker hungers that lurked in his true nature. In life, he had been a good man accustomed to the atrocities of death, even accepting of them...and in death, he was a creature who thrived on those same atrocities. Inflicting pain, drawing blood, seizing absolute power, total dominion over all he surveyed. From his realm, he demanded absolute control, and from his souls, he stood for no less than absolute surrender.

In life, he was a troubled man, but a good one. In death...he was no longer a good man. And, now that his son had been born, and thriving despite the fact that he was undead, The Shade was looking to a future he wasn't sure he could truly have.

Not as long as they kept flirting with his dark side.

When he explained, in highly censored terms, what he was planning, Jean Summers agreed to watch Cole for the night. So, while Courtney took a brief respite in the human world to reunite with her family and see a living doctor for one final checkup, The Shade brought Jean over and settled her with Cole in the sanctuary that hid his true home. He worked carefully to plan their evening, and by nightfall, when Courtney returned to the house, she found it dark the moment she entered, the only visible light a soft glow at the top of the stairs. The glow came from their bedroom, with the door standing just ajar enough to see that candlelight was responsible for the glow.

When she did open the door, she saw several candles had been lit around the room, offering just enough light to see by. The bed had been turned down, and the entire scene was very sensual, even romantic...except for the fact that two pairs of handcuffs were latched to the headboard, each free shackle waiting for a wrist to clamp around.

And then there was The Shade, who was leaning in the corner of the room, nearly lost in shadow but clearly toying with a long length of black silk...and looking as severe as she'd ever seen him.

For a long while there was silence until...

"Take off your shirt." No greeting, no movement. The words were quiet, even, but firm and clearly brooked no argument. He wanted to stop flirting and see how far he could go before she turned back, wanted to see how far this envelope could be pushed.

He wanted Courtney for the night, on his terms, wanted to know if she could handle the worst of his needs...and he wanted to see the worst of hers. He wanted to know everything that made her happy, kept her sated, made her wet, even if it pushed his own limitations.

The Shade wanted, needed to know if they could accept each other completely, in the most intimate way possible, before he could even consider giving her his mother's engagement ring.

Comments

[wearenotbroken]

"So basically you were testing me." She murmured, lifting her chin slightly as she watched him closely, her eyes smoothing over the lines of his features as she really didn't need him to give her an answer.

"And did I pass?" She asked, arching a brow at him then.

[deaths_head]

He smiled a little again, huffing silently with laughter and shaking his head. He could do so little to hide from her...it was another thing he loved about her.

"Maybe I was, a little. And I think maybe you have, passed I mean." he admitted quietly, meeting her gaze again. "Now I gotta pass."

[wearenotbroken]

"Well, I should hope that I have." She reached out to slide her fingers down his arm as he continued to undress. "I crave the darker stuff as well, Shade. I didn't know how much till I was with you but the idea of you paddling me, tieing me up and fucking me in any sort of way just...makes me really hot." She thought that was the best way to explain it.

Then she looked confused. "Pass what? I don't need to test you." She reached out for his hands to tug him closer, then she moved her hands to start undoing his pants.

[deaths_head]

The Shade had his boots off and was skinning off his tunic when she reached out to touch him, catching his attention. The feel of power leeching under his skin was familiar as her hand ran up his arm, and it was only in that moment that The Shade realized it more than familiar: it was becoming comforting.

Letting himself be pulled closer, he didn't stop her from unfastening his pants, watching her face as the realization filled him, sudden and sharp.

"I need to test me." he replied a little distractedly. He paused, then added, "And I gotta start by tellin' you...in life, my family called me by my Christian name. Josie for short. You can, if you want."

[wearenotbroken]

"I know that, sweetie." She replied, glancing up at his face as she worked his pants down over his hips so they would drop to the floor and he could finally kick them off. "I just figured that you were more comfortable with being called Shade."

"But I will call you whatever you wish me to call you." She murmured as she leaned in to press a soft kiss to his hip, teasing her lips lightly over the skin there even as his arousal nudged against her shoulder. Then, turning her head, she let her lips trail along the side of him...

[deaths_head]

"I am. That's the point." he replied honestly. He wanted to open that door, give her that access...test his own limits and see if he could bear to let her all the way in.

There wasn't much more room for thought as she helped him finish undressing...and let her mouth trace the line of his cock, a teasing brush of her mouth that stole his breath, breath she put into his lungs with every touch.

As the tub finished filling, The Shade used power to shut the water off, his eyes locked on her as his hand shot out to tunnel into her hair. He wanted to force her down, to urge her to go down on him, but he restrained himself and let his hand merely lay there against her scalp.

After all: it was her turn.

[wearenotbroken]

Her eyes went hot and dark the moment his hand was in her hair and she could see him struggling against his own urge to take, to rule, as he had moments before. She could have tortured him but she rewarded him instead...mostly because it was more torture for him than denying him.

So she wrapped her mouth around him, instantly taking him deep with no warning, letting his cock slide over her tongue and into her throat where she swallowed so that the ring of muscles would constrict around him. Only then did she used suction, fighting her own urge to gag and push him away as she held him deep and then pulled back slowly. She did it a couple more times before releasing him with a soft gasp.

[deaths_head]

She took him so abruptly it didn't register right away, and the moment it did he let out a low growl of pleasure, more of a snarl, his mind was wiped clean of everything but the wet heat of her mouth, the silky slide of her tongue, and the friction as she took him deep...

Twice more she took him there, and it was all he could do not to force it, to just take what he wanted with no thought for her welfare, for her comfort. It was a war against his nature, but with her mouth on him, her hands on him, her power in his veins, human nature won out and so when he realized his fingers had tightened in her hair, he loosened them, and let her up when she could take no more of him.

Groaning harshly, he dragged her up instead and kissed her, hard and hungry and desperate.

"For such a nice girl, you're a bigger goddamn sadist 'n I could ever hope to be." he half-laughed, half-snarled against her mouth.

[wearenotbroken]

Courtney didn't mind when his fingers were wound tightly in her hair and she moaned as she dragged her tongue along the underside of his cock before letting go. Then she was smirking as he groaned and she stood up when he dragged her up to kiss her nearly senseless.

Pulling back with a breathless chuckle, she looked rather smug and content all at the same time. "I keep telling you..."

Then she reached around to smack him on the ass, her eyes dancing with amusement as she took a step back and then turned to make sure the tub was off. "You get in first, babe."

[deaths_head]

"Yeah, you keep tellin' me." He muttered good-naturedly as he turned to step into the tub, sinking down and offering her a hand into the tub. "Your parents keep tellin' you there ain't no such thing as monsters, but you still get scared in the dark and peek in the closet 'fore bed. Some things, little mage, are just too damn good to be believed, I tell you what."

[wearenotbroken]

"Well, I'm not that good. You wouldn't love me if I was." She pointed out, holding onto his hand as she stepped into the tub and then turned to face him as she sank down, straddling his lap, with a soft smile.

Then she was touching him again, a hand sliding over his cheek as the other combed gently through his hair. All while she let her eyes move slowly over his features, taking them in as she re-familiarized herself with how he looked once more. Really, she wouldn't ever get tired of looking at him.

"I love you so much." She murmured, meeting his gaze. "You know that, right? And you know that no matter what you do, you're not going to get rid of me or scare me off."

[deaths_head]

"I know." he replied softly, one hand drifting up to sweep through her hair in return as she settled over him, the weight of her gentle, loving gaze heavy against his skin. Drawing her closer as his free hand slid up her back, he found himself caught in her dark, open gaze. This was the hardest part, though he still worried he might go too far one day: he was more afraid that he couldn't accept the humanity she awoke in him every time they came together.

"I love you...maybe more than you'll ever love me." he replied quietly, watching her as his fingers mapped her spine. "You do so much more than you'll ever know...you know what I am and you love me for it, but more importantly: you remind me of what I used to be. And you make me wanna be that man again."

[wearenotbroken]

She was human and so of course it bothered her whenever he admitted that she would always love him more than he would love her but she had accepted that a long time ago. So she pushed it away, nodding her head with a smile as his fingers brushed over her spine, urging her to arch a bit closer to him as she shifted higher till he was nudging against her.

"I know." She lowered her head to kiss him softly just as she started to push down, sinking onto him slowly as he slid into her inch by agonizingly slow inch.

[deaths_head]

The Shade didn't get a chance to answer as she kissed him and slowly lowered herself onto his cock, engulfing him in her wet heat with a slowness that had him half mad by the time they were fully joined. The heat of the water surrounding them only intensified the illusion of life, making him forget the cold that awaited him when they were no longer locked together. It was frightening, to forget himself so easily, terrifying to be so helpless but to surrender to the beating heart, the warm blood, the sweet surge of emotion that clouded everything when she touched him...

As his hands slid down her body to grip her hips tight when the kiss broke, as his stormy gray eyes met hers, pleading for her to move, to give him respite from the passion she'd ignited in him...he knew in his heart, for as long as he had one, that he would face this fear for the rest of eternity just for a few stolen moments in her arms where he was free to love her.

[wearenotbroken]

Courtney shuddered as she stretched around him, holding him tight in her body for the first time in a long while since Cole had been born. Even now she was struck by the realization of just how much she had missed being this intimate with him because these were the times when they were the closest. When he was fully 'alive' and she could hold onto him knowing he could feel everything she was feeling. That she had yanked away the veil of Death to find the man underneath. The man who loved her as much as she loved him.

Breaking the kiss with a soft gasp, she met his gaze and nodded before rocking her hips slowly, shuddering once more as the pleasure lanced through her and reminded her of just how good it could be. Then she found a familiar rhythm, riding him slowly but steadily right there in the bath, the water sloshing gently around them as she curled her fingers in his long hair and held on.

[deaths_head]

It was a special kind of madness, being locked deep in her body where he couldn't escape her touch even if he wanted to, and The Shade had forgotten how much he missed it: nerves alive and singing, skin warm, heart open and body gloriously aching with need as she rode him. The quiet sound of the water sloshing, the rough sound of his ragged breathing and low, needy growls, her soft, sweet panting, her fingers wound deep in his loose hair...he'd missed all of it, and felt that loss with a sweet ache as he gathered her close and tilted his hips up into every slow roll of her hips.

"You've ruined me, y'know that, little mage?" He breathed, pressing a kiss to her neck as he slid a hand between their bodies, fingers gentle as he touched her intimately. It had been too long for him, not being with her, he knew he wouldn't last long, and damn it he wanted her to come with him, wanted to drive her to madness just one more time.

[wearenotbroken]

"We are both ruined." She murmured huskily, tipping her head so he could have easier access to her neck. Then she clenched around him with a gasp as he touched her, sending a sweetly sharp spike of more intense pleasure through her. Her body was already on edge from being brought so close to release so many times and she rocked her hips a bit faster.

Then she growled, pulling back slightly to look at him with a dark gaze. "If you stop this time, I swear to fucking God I'll hurt you."

[deaths_head]

Irrationally, the venom in her voice and in her eyes made him smile, a tiny tug upwards at the corners of his mouth as he held her dark gaze. It was ridiculous, but it couldn't be helped: he was always so proud when she let her dark side show...

"Not this time." He rasped, fingers moving steadily as they teased over her clit, breath hitching as she moved over him in earnest. "I want you...to come with me...Christ Almighty, just a little more..."

[wearenotbroken]

She let out a moan of relief as he teased her clit in earnest while reassuring her he wasn't holding back this time.

Tightening her arms around him and tangling her fingers more harshly in his hair, she tipped her hips to change the angle, taking him deeper and adding more friction as she rode him harder till she could fly right over the edge. Shuddering, she tightened and fluttered as she came with a loud cry, arching against him as she let her head fall back in bliss.

[deaths_head]

Her orgasm only just triggered his own, so close was he to the edge just feeling her wrapped around him, arms and body and knees pressing against his hips...he was back in that paradise where death was forgotten, and all that existed was the woman he loved and the things she made him feel.

At that moment, it was bliss, the greatest pleasure he had ever known. Coming with a growl as his own head fell back against the rim of the tub with a dull thunk, body arching just a little as he rocked up into her, his arms wrapped tight around her to keep her from slipping as he lost control, spiraling straight into heaven and coming slowly, so slowly back down to himself.

"I love you." he rasped with a small smile, gently tugging her forward as the last tremors of pleasure slid through both of them so that she could rest her head against his shoulder. "I know lotta men say that in the heat of passion...that you can't trust a word comes out of a man's mouth when he's in bed, but that ain't true for me. You know that. When I tell you I love you...that I can't endure without you...that I'd move Heaven and Hell in your name, I mean every goddamn word of it."

[wearenotbroken]

Courtney felt like she was pleasantly drifting as she came off of the last tremors of her release and she smiled softly as The Shade pulled her close while declaring his love. Pressing her forehead against the side of his neck, she closed her eyes with a happy sigh.

"I know you do, Josie." She murmured. "Just like you know I feel the same." She had taken on Hell for him already. Which reminded her...

Lifting and turning her head, she bit him on the shoulder before pulling back with a glare. "That's for testing me thinking I'd go running and..." She smacked his other shoulder before pointing at him, still glaring. "That's for testing me after we had Cole!"

[deaths_head]

The Shade was still blissed out when she bit him, making him roar like a wounded tiger and jerk so hard the water sloshed over the side of the tub, soaking the floor in a healthy wave. He barely felt the swat, but the sting of her teeth was both infuriating and exciting, even as he rubbed his shoulder and sat up a little to glare at her murderously.

Leaning forward to get right in her face, he lifted a finger and pointed right back at her.

"You, little mage, are gonna get the spanking of a damn lifetime soon as we get outta this tub, that sumbitch hurt, you got a whetstone for your damn teeth or somethin'? You need to start thinking harder 'fore you open that pretty little fool mouth of yours, and truth to tell? If I weren't so damn sure you'd be eatin' a big ol' slice of humble pie in a couple seconds, I would be well and truly pissed off at you for comin' at me like that when I was in such a fine mood, you beautiful little brat!"

Finished with his tirade, he sank back again to lean against the tub, arms sitting on the edges and eyes locked with hers as he continued to scowl at her, though his eyes danced with something just a little softer than annoyance or rage.

"I tell you what, I should've damn well known askin' you to marry me would be just as hard as tryin' to keep whatever benevolent fuckin' promises the preacher tries to slap on me when we get to the altar."

[wearenotbroken]

Courtney's body jerked a little when he roared at her for biting him and pulled back quickly away from her as though to make sure that she didn't hurt him again. Then she glared at him some more as he started to give her shit, crossing her arms over her breasts as she lifted her chin defiantly.

"You are lucky I don't take a paddle to your ass!" Her voice rose in pitch as she gave him shit right back. "And I am not the brat, you're the brat! We just had a baby and here you are trying to scare me off? Just because you think I can't handle big, scary you? I should be right and truly pissed off at you...."

She trailed off, noting the look in his eyes as he sank back to lean against the tub and she narrowed her eyes at him as she wondered just what it was that he was up to. Even still it took her a moment or two to really register what he was saying and then she was blinking. "Asking to marry you?"

[deaths_head]

"You heard me, brat." he groused, the softness in his eyes growing as he reached up to catch her chin in his hand so she looked him dead in the eye. "Yes, I was testin' you, but I wanted you to pass. I needed to know you could look into the dark and not just stay, but ask for more. Yes, you got a dark side, but I had to be sure it was as deep as mine. Bedding Death is one thing, but to share your life with it, you gotta yearn for pain...and if Death is gonna give himself to a life mage, he's gotta know he can stop being afraid of the pain that comes from being dead and in love."

He paused, then reached out to the table that sat by the tub. Slipping his hand under the towels, he pulled out a small black jewelry box and snapped it open, revealing a simple antique silver band set with a single sparkling diamond.

"This was the same ring my daddy made for Momma when he asked for her hand." He explained. "I never did believe anyone could love the way my parents did, least of all me...but then I met you, then I met Cole. And he's the one that made me realize I could do this...that I wanted it. So I'm askin' you, Courtney Marteniz, if you'd do me the honor of giving me your hand in marriage." He paused, then flashed her another of his rare smiles.

"You brat." He added playfully.

[wearenotbroken]

Courtney wanted to tell him that he never had to doubt it, that she loved him fiercely or that she craved the sweet pain that only he could give her. That she could look into the darkness and be comfortable there with him. That she would always crave more and that maybe, just maybe, she could still surprise him with just how deep her darkness ran.

But emotion clogged her throat as he revealed the ring to her and she was pretty sure he could understand just this once why she was getting a little misty eyed.

Sliding her arms around his shoulders, she pressed close again as she leaned in to kiss him softly, sweetly, before pulling back slightly to whisper against his mouth. "Of course I'll marry you." Then she couldn't resist. "You big jerk." She flashed him a fond smirk before kissing him again.